Hello dear readers (if there are any readers left)! What happened to blogging? If only I knew. I have lost a bit my mojo I think. Also this digital life has become quite draining – I kind of feel it more and more after almost three years of freelancing and mostly working by myself from home. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy, I like what I do. But sometimes I feel like it is too repetitive, it is too superficial, it is irrelevant, boring – did I mention repetitive? Well even the words here become recurring.
Sometimes I wallow in memories and find it all quite astonishing. Not many of you will know, but I studied international business administration and economics and when I was a student social media wasn’t a thing yet. I think it was the early ages of some student networks such as early Facebook and some German counterparts that I knew as someone living and studying in Austria. Imagining a professional career in the digital world or more precisely in the sphere of social media was just unimaginable. And yet here I am, full time influencer. Oh how I despise the word. I really do. Influencer? As if I am sitting at home and making conspiratorial plans on how to influence and seduce you. You know, like buy this, buy that, add more plants (ok guilty for the latter at least).
I have consciously chosen this ‘career’ path. Do you see how I put the word career in quotation marks? Yup, because I often need to convince myself that this is my job now. That this IS a job at all. Yet I wonder: Is it really a job? Or am I just lucky to be riding the digital wave and having found my niche to make my living with it? I sometimes tend to forget the path that led me to where I am today. Years and years of non stop blogging (yes back then I blogged six times a week) and constant networking on Twitter (those were the years). And all of this I did for years in a row while also having a full time job in PR and marketing agencies (with all the glamour of piling surplus hours and shoddy pay). Those were days where I would start working at 9 am and finish at home at one or two am. Going to bed, waking up, and doing all of it again the next day. For years and years. And then I slowly managed to build my blog, my social media presence, build a community of plant lovers, write one book , then another, work on design and styling projects, give lectures, host courses and so on. And now I am a freelancer. Full time ‘influencer’. Full time working from home. Full time wondering if this is really relevant and fulfilling. Lots of full here. Repetitive and recurring.
I just reread my last paragraph and I do get the idea that this might sound a bit negative or disillusioned. But neither is true to be honest. I am happy, I like what I do, I just wonder if this is what I want to do for the next years to come. I wrote books. I did design projects. I worked as a speaker and course host. So what is next? I do not know myself but I want something new to appear on the horizon. Something that would challenge me again and encourage my creativity and knowledge. Hit me up if you have ideas:-)
In the meantime rest assured that I am happily sharing what inspires me and what keeps me going creatively – mostly on Instagram (and yes, I prefer the term inspirator over influencer). But I want to be way more active here on the blog too from now on (thanks Holly from Decor8 for constantly reminding me of blogging). It already feels more substantial writing a longer text than just a few lines of an IG caption. And whether or not anyone is reading this – it will be out there riding the digital wave and whoever surfs by, enjoy the ride and the read!
In the meantime, feel free to come and visit me on this home tour by Westwing (incl. a video tour and some plant tips) – it is the most recent tour of my Berlin apartment!
Photography by Westwing